For those that have successfully avoided pop-culture to the point where you’re unaware of what Tinder is, Tinder is a dating app where you are matched with those you find attractive and find you attractive. A picture pops up and you swipe right on it if you find that person attractive and left if you don’t, if both of you have swiped right you are matched. To the older heads or those that have remained in long term relationships from BT (before Tinder), this would seem to make dating incredibly easy.
I’ve heard many people who haven’t used Tinder talk about how if Tinder was there in their single days, they would’ve painted the town red. To all those people, I’m sorry to tell you this, you wouldn’t have. How do you make yourself interesting in a short message to introduce yourself and start a conversation? And it can’t be one she’s already heard, which she will have a thousand times over. How do you gauge a connection with letters on a screen in a context of fuckboy-isms and break through the mould? I promise you it’s no easier than the days of striking up conversations at a bar.
Tinder, as all social media does, has instead just made itself a necessity in life and doesn’t actually make things easier. All the same rules apply, and most matches don’t translate to real life dates. So what’s the point?
It’s fun. It’s hollow and sad but objectifying people on-the-go is fun. And a lot of gratification is gained from finding out someone you think is attractive feels the same way about you. Over the 1-2 years I’ve had tinder, I’ve deleted and re-downloaded the app countless times. I don’t really use the app to date, and have only been on dates with 2 girls I met off of Tinder. It’s mostly a self-esteem and curiosity exercise. From learning what Tinder was I had several questions, [1.] Do people I find attractive find me attractive? [2.] What kind of people do find me attractive? and [3.] (in the lest douchey way possible) What’s my demographic?
I did find the answers to my questions ([1.] Sometimes [2.] A variety of people [3.] Generally speaking I do better with people of a similar fashion to me, who’d have guessed). So I found my answers, I received some gratification and in the process got a couple of dates. Why am I still on Tinder? Because when exercising in self-esteem you will never reach self-actualisation. There will never be a point where you say, ‘this is enough’. You need the exercise to be constantly updated, being aware of this is what made me delete the app so many times but then always come back to it.
So, as someone who doesn’t use Tinder primarily for dating, why does the newly announced TinderGoldsound so alluring?
Currently I’m on the unpaid version, and never really wanted to pay for it, paying for Tinder seemed needy and a touch sad. Then Tinder announced Gold, the premium version of the already premium TinderPlus. And I’m not going to lie, I am considering Gold (subject to how much they charge obviously). WHY? Well it’s because the ‘geniuses’ at Tinder have finally buckled and realised that guessing who finds you attractive is only fun if it’s the only option. Now there’s a feature that we all wanted for a very long time: you can see a list of people who said “Yes! this people will at-least do fine”. Cutting out the guess work of “nah this person looks completely different to me, they wouldn’t have swiped right” and then swiping left as you don’t want to waste a right-swipe, even if you thought they were good looking.
In short, this new feature is just as beneficial to the rather depressing self-esteem exercise rut that I have caught myself in as it is to the “hooking-up” incentive. And even as someone who turns off location settings most of the time to save battery (making myself invisible to the app), I am really considering TinderGold.